Naked Activities in Europe
see also EZF (the English E-Book) and our very own: ...Urgent Photo Request...Personal Legal Experience
...If Man were Meant to be Naked, he would have been Born NakedNewt Newt 2005 Newt 2006 Newt 2007 Newt 2008
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Speaking from personal experience, I can categorically state that the Law is
an Ass!.
You might reasonably wonder why I would come to this apparently extraordinary conclusion, and I'll attempt to explain this as best I can. Essentially the justice (ha ha ha) system (ha ha ha) doesn't have any idea what to do with nudity. If you are found walking naked in one district the police will simply say they are not interested, in another district you might recieve a minor fine, similar to a speeding ticket, and in another you get a huge fine, all for the identical circumstances. You might think that the circumstances would dictate, or at least influence, the response, but this is not the case at all. You might believe that the more people who see you naked, the more women and children perhaps, the more seriously anti-social your behaviour would be judged. In fact, it appears to be the case that the more likely it is that you will meet people, and the more people you actually meet while you are naked, the smaller your fine is likely to be. Allow me to demonstrate with some actual examples. Naked in the Forest (nix problemo)Richard was called by telephone at home to come in to the station and talk to the local police, about whether it was indeed he who had met the friendly horse-riding lady along the forest trail in the Bavarian district of Ebersberg, while he was out hiking naked one day. We discussed locations, timing and content, and indeed it proved to be me - "Fine!", they said, "that's all. We just want to know who's doing what in our patch - have a nice day!". I asked them to clarify exactly what the situation was in relation to naked hiking, and they replied: "So long as there is no report of untoward behaviour, we're not interested whether you or anyone else wants to go for a naked hike through the forest, but we are required to look into every report which we recieve." Now that's the kind of response a naked hiker can appreciate.Naked in the Forest (35 Euros)Other times, people are not so fortunate, and in the end it all seems to come down to personal opinion - on another occassion, Richard was met by two women while he was naked, walking along a forest trail south and east of Erding, (yet another Bavarian district). The pair exchanged a short pleasant conversation regarding how pleasant the weather was, and whether he was cold or not. This wasn't the end of the matter though, because once they had returned home they promptly reported the encounter to the police, who subsequently visited his house in a marked car, and quite soundly upset his wife by their stern, if polite, presence. The end result of this encounter was a whopping great thirty five (35) Euro fine. Clearly here, the seriousness of the event is regarded as almost laughable, but it seems as though the authorities just had to issue some sort of fine, even when it was hardly worth the paperwork, or waste of police time, involved.Naked in the Forest (500 Eurs)Meanwhile Richard, who has never walked naked through the centre of a modern city shopping precinct, went for a pleasant stroll in Altoetting, East of Munich. While walking through Alzgern Forest, having met two women, one woman on horseback who was very friendly, and one woman who was not, Richard was next waylaid by an unmarked police dog-handler van before having his identity papers inspected, and his photograph taken, via the occupants of two further marked police cars. Not a pleasant experience I can tell you. Richard recieved a fine of five hundred (500) Euros for this single and first occurance of being called a public nuisance. On appeal this was reduced to four hundred (400) Euros, with the cost of the lawyer's defense being more than the original fine. A further appeal is pending.Naked in the City (100 Euros)Ralf made the headlines by walking down the High Street in the middle of the city of Heidelberg, Germany, naked. The main thoroughfare was appropriaely busy for a saturday and he had hundreds of happy shoppers passing him by, quite naturally a mix of old and young, male and female. He also walked in and out of several shops, chatting to the staff and customers alike, buying some bread and so on, with no problems whatsoever. It took just one person, of all those hundreds, to call the police to take him to task. The end result was a one hundred (100) Euro fine.Naked in the City (35 Euros)Here's another case of a man naked at a fountain in the centre of Dresden. He is fined 35 Euros for the privilege of running around naked and shouting loudly at the same time.SummaryIn none of the cases on this page, were there any suggestion from the public of any anti-social, agressive or sexual, behaviour whatsoever - so what can explain the different responses from the authorities. Is it simply a personal preference? I mean if the policeman, or the person in the council department responsible for these decisions, or the judge on the day, are feeling particularly puritanical, perhaps they had a weak coffee for breakfast, or they haven't had their daily beating yet, or given one, or they're not getting enough sex, then you're stuffed. On the other hand, if they are folk who mind their own business, enjoy living in a peaceful world, like to lead a quiet life and are pleased when other people do the same, you are just as likely to be greeted with a smile and wished a pleasant day. Think about that for a moment: the implementation of the law is just a personal opinion.
I trust this page gives you some idea of why I think the (so-called) justice system has it's head stuck firmly up it's arse! |
